Friday, September 22, 2017

Latest news

Damon Albarn singing on stage with Blur

Blur Fan Suddenly Realises They Were Shit

A 42-year-old Blur superfan from Merthyr Tydfil has suddenly realised that his favourite band were actually shit. A series of incidents proving what a wanker...
Sunderland fans looking up

EU Referendum Cancelled in Sunderland as Locals Have Never Heard of Europe

Electoral officials have confirmed that Sunderland will not take part in the upcoming EU referendum - because not enough local people have heard of...

Latest

Pizza Hut store in the UK

Woman Being Arbitrarily Detained in Pizza Hut, UN Rules

A woman who has been waiting for a Large Pan Spicy Hot One for 40 minutes has been arbitrarily detained, a UN human rights panel...
Villa Park stadium shot

Aston Villa Takeover Off After Prospective Owner Watches Them On YouTube

Randy Lerner's sale of Aston Villa has fallen through after the Chinese billionaire buying it saw them play on Youtube. Dr Tony Xia was looking...
Fat man eating

Fat Bloke Furious to Still Have Beer Belly Despite Having Fitness App

A fat man has expressed his dismay at still having a huge beer gut despite investing nearly £10 on a leading fitness app. 29-year-old Christopher...
Bag of Maltesers

Man Thrown Out of Shakespeare Play for Eating Family Size Bag of Maltesers

A man has was unceremoniously thrown out of an RSC production of Hamlet this week after being caught with a family size bag of...
Sid James laughing in Carry On Movie

David Cameron to Star in Rebooted Carry On Movies

Sources inside Downing Street today failed to deny the growing rumours that David Cameron is set to be the new face of the Carry...
Sebastian Coe

Seb Coe: There Was No Drugs Cover-Up, We Hid Them in a Drawer

Athletics boss Seb Coe has strenuously denied that widespread drug use and doping were covered up by the IAAF. And in a sensational twist, the...

Entertainment

Damon Albarn singing on stage with Blur

Blur Fan Suddenly Realises They Were Shit

A 42-year-old Blur superfan from Merthyr Tydfil has suddenly realised that his favourite band were actually shit. A series of incidents proving what a wanker...

Sport

Sunderland fans looking up

EU Referendum Cancelled in Sunderland as Locals Have Never Heard of Europe

Electoral officials have confirmed that Sunderland will not take part in the upcoming EU referendum - because not enough local people have heard of...
Villa Park stadium shot

Aston Villa Takeover Off After Prospective Owner Watches Them On YouTube

Randy Lerner's sale of Aston Villa has fallen through after the Chinese billionaire buying it saw them play on Youtube. Dr Tony Xia was looking...
Sebastian Coe

Seb Coe: There Was No Drugs Cover-Up, We Hid Them in a Drawer

Athletics boss Seb Coe has strenuously denied that widespread drug use and doping were covered up by the IAAF. And in a sensational twist, the...
England team singing the national anthem

Lily Allen’s F**k You Announced as the New English National Anthem

Following calls from leading MPs for England to have its own national anthem for sporting occasions, Lily Allen's F**k You has been chosen as...
Men's 100m British Champs final - Dwayne Chambers

Olympic Athletes Told to Take ‘Proper’ Drugs

Following the doping controversy surrounding the Russian Olympic team, the head of Sky Sports has suggested that ratings for athletics could be given a...
Roy Hodgson

Roy Hodgson Causes Press Press Conference Outrage After Mispronouncing ‘Rankings’

England manager, Roy Hodgson caused outrage at a recent pre-match press conference after claiming the recent rankings have given both him and the England players...

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Tech

Fat man eating

Fat Bloke Furious to Still Have Beer Belly Despite Having Fitness App

A fat man has expressed his dismay at still having a huge beer gut despite investing nearly £10 on a leading fitness app. 29-year-old Christopher...

Politics