Chilcot Report to Be Published in Full After Writers Agree on Twist Ending

Universal Studios are vying for the movie rights.

Chilcot Inquiry
Photo: BBC

The long-awaited report into the Iraq War from Sir John Chilcot will be published on July 6th after its writers finally agreed on a surprise ending.

After hitting the UK bestseller list with several of his previous reports, Chilcot is hopeful that this latest report will get picked up by a Hollywood Studio.

The creation of this latest report into Britain’s involvement in the Iraq War has been plagued with problems from the very beginning.

Several of the original writers were fired for ‘relying too heavily on the facts’. And it was also revealed that Chilcot himself decided to scrap the original draft because it ‘needed more nudity’.

Chilcot spoke to the press outside his London home this morning.

“The original ending laid the blame firmly at the door of Tony Blair and his Labour Party cronies. But we just thought that this particular ending was a little too predictable.

“We decided to spice things up with a shock twist. I don’t want to give too much away, but Britain’s involvement in the Iraq War started way back in 2001. Without spoiling the finale, it will involve Paddy Ashdown, a Skype call with Saddam Hussein, a call girl and a large jar of Nutella.

“We didn’t want people to guess the ending, as everyone knows it was all Blair’s fault. So we decided to spice things up a little.”

Universal Studios has reportedly picked up the movie rights to the Chilcot Report, and they’re thought to be lining up Cate Blanchett for the role of both Tony Blair and George W. Bush.