Seb Coe: There Was No Drugs Cover-Up, We Hid Them in a Drawer

Seb Coe

Athletics boss Seb Coe has strenuously denied that widespread drug use and doping were covered up by the IAAF.

And in a sensational twist, the Olympic gold medallist revealed that all of the organisation’s drugs were kept in a ‘securely locked’ draw in Coe’s desk.

Lord Coe has been forced to defend the IAAF’s handling of doping several times during his hitherto short time in office. But it seems the pressure on the athletics legend is becoming unbearable.

Asked about rumours of a hidden ‘goodies drawer’ made available to international athletes, Coe responded with candour.

“We have never covered up drugs – performance or recreational – at the IAAF. We have always erred on the side of caution by locking them safely away in a desk drawer.

“Being an international athlete is tough, and some competitors just need a little pick-me-up from time to time. A little snort of something or the odd pill from time to time isn’t going to do much harm.

“Look, I don’t condone overdosing, talking shit, paranoia, the munchies, crime or long-term dependency. But there’s nothing wrong with a little snifter when things get hard.

“I’ve got everything in there. I’ve got uppers, downers, hallucinogens, pills, powder, crystals. I’ve got grass, wizz, acid, AMT, weed, skunk, skank, donkey dust, fast lane, frenzy, freebase, khat, killer, M-cat, M-Smack, mazzies and a little Mary Joy.

“Oh… and Red Bull”