Greeks Must Wear Lederhosen in Exchange for EU Bailout


Just hours after a four-month bailout extension was agreed between Greece and the EU, it emerged that Greeks will need to wear lederhosen on Sundays as part of the conditions.

Europe’s economic leaders spent several hours with Greek government officials thrashing out the deal, and it could mean that Greece eventually becomes a new district of Germany.

Eurogroup president Jeroen Dijsselbloem was delighted to have struck a deal for Greece’s continued membership of the euro at such a late stage, but he warned against complacency.

“The Greeks are proud people, so to ask them to wear the national dress of Germany was a hard sell. However, we have been given assurances that every Greek citizen will wear the full, leather version of lederhosen every Sunday. This is a triumph for the European project, and a victory for common sense.

“Angela Merkel has been forced to answer some serious questions in recent months, as it’s the German people who are currently subsidising huge levels of Greek debt. This is payback for those people, and it proves that Mrs Merkel knows what she’s doing.

“This was just one of the many cultural changes we insisted on as part of this deal. We had asked for the Greeks to take on a more standoffish disposition, lose their sense of humour and eat more sausage, but we’re happy with the progress made thus far.”

Although the bailout extension deal has been welcomed by most Greeks, angry confrontations and at least two assaults took place during negotiations when a German delegate insisted that Greece should become an autonomous state of Germany.

A local police officer revealed that two arrests were made during the skirmishes:

“The Greek police will not tolerate the use of processed sausage as a weapon. We will arrest and charge anyone with concealed meat on their person – whether they are delegates of the German government or street dwellers.”

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