Tuesday, March 20, 2018

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Bag of Maltesers

Man Thrown Out of Shakespeare Play for Eating Family Size Bag of Maltesers

A man has was unceremoniously thrown out of an RSC production of Hamlet this week after being caught with a family size bag of...
Sid James laughing in Carry On Movie

David Cameron to Star in Rebooted Carry On Movies

Sources inside Downing Street today failed to deny the growing rumours that David Cameron is set to be the new face of the Carry...
England team singing the national anthem

Lily Allen’s F**k You Announced as the New English National Anthem

Following calls from leading MPs for England to have its own national anthem for sporting occasions, Lily Allen's F**k You has been chosen as...
Kanye West papped in the street

Music Fans in Mourning as Kanye West is Confirmed as Alive and Well

Music fans from around the world are today in mourning at the news of Kanye West's apparent good health. Social media was buzzing with news...
Jeremy Corbyn

Man Tries to Buy ‘Corbyn Reshuffle’ on iTunes

A confused man from Plymouth made several attempts to buy 'The Corbyn Reshuffle' on iTunes, it has been revealed. On the day that Labour leader...
Man in tiara

55-Year-Old Cleaner Bob Named as New Miss Universe

After a glamorous ceremony in a Las Vegas hotel, a hapless male cleaner scooped the top prize of Miss Universe after a case of...
Old ladies at a party

‘Bad Telephone Line’ to Blame for WI Showing of ‘Star Whores’

Three members of a Canterbury WI association have been hospitalised after a 'misunderstanding' led to a pornographic parody version of Star Wars being played...

‘Hello’ Was Inspired by Norris from Coronation Street, Admits Adele

Following days of speculation, Adele has finally admitted that her smash hit single 'Hello' was inspired by Corrie shopkeeper Norris Cole. Adele ah been a...
Han Solo and Chewie are back in Star Wars The Force Awakens

“New Star Wars is Sh*t,” claims J.J. Abrams

Just minutes after the world premiere of Star Wars: The Force Awakens, director J.J. Abrams labelled his new movie as 'shit', and said the...
U2 and Eagles of Death Metal on stage in Paris

More U2 Concerts Planned in Paris to Keep Terrorists Away

Following the Paris terror attacks that left 130 people dead, French authorities have revealed that 'several more' U2 concerts will be held in the...
Kanye West

Kanye West Has Turned Into a Total Twat, says Kanye’s Mother

Just days after a bizarre, expletive-laden performance at the Brits, American rapper Kanye West has been labelled a 'total twat' by his own mother. West...
Eddie Redmayne

Redmayne Got My Accent All Wrong, says Prof Stephen Hawking

'The Theory of Everything' star Eddie Redmayne has been accused of getting the electronic accent of Stephen Hawking 'all wrong' - by Hawking himself. The...