British Astronaut Tim Peake Misses Rocket Launch After ‘Sleeping In’


Soyuz rocket taking off

British astronaut Major Tim Peake sensationally missed the launch of the Soyuz rocket today after using the sleep function on his iPhone 6’s alarm feature.

Peake and his fellow astronauts should have been hurtling towards space at 11.03am UK time, but the hapless British astronaut was asleep in bed.

Peake, delirious with exhaustion after a ‘very unsettled sleep’ didn’t realise his huge mistake until he started tucking into a full English in his Kazakhstan hotel.

Peake’s personal assistant Trudy Gilligan recalled the events of the morning:

“To be honest, we both had a rough night’s sleep. Tim slept in, and I just totally forgot about the launch. It’s hard when I’m responsible for everything from washing his underpants to ordering pizza.

“Anyway, Tim had just started on his second fried egg when he screamed in panic. He dashed back to his room and proceeded to start hopping around in a pathetic attempt to pull on his trousers.

“He jumped into a taxi, but just getting the driver to believe Tim needed to get to the launch pad in 10 minutes was a struggle. Unfortunately, Tim pulled up at the rocket just as it was taking off. Typical”

Sources at the Baikonur Cosmodrome have reported that Peake attempted to have the rocket ‘turned round’ to ‘pick him up’. He then asked if he could ‘catch the guys up on the next launch’, but was told that he’d have to wait three years.

Peake now plans to take a job as a parking attendant in Weston-super-Mare.