Nurofen ‘Pain in the Arse’ Brand Removed from British Shelves


Nurofen tablets

Following an Australian court’s decision to remove several of Nurofen’s branded pain relief from the shelves, a UK court has followed suit by banning the sale of Nurofen ‘Pain in the Arse’.

An Australian judge ruled that various brands of the leading pain-killer – aimed at dealing with different types of pain – contain exactly the same ingredients.

As well as brands claiming to relieve migraines, tension headaches and sprained groins, Reckitt Benckiser has been selling the hugely successful ‘Pain in the Arse’ variety of Nurofen for several years.

The move will be devastating for call centre workers, fast food operatives and teachers – all of whom rely on this particular brand of the drug to get through each day.

Cheryl Spencer is a call centre worker for BT, and she believes her job has just been made a great deal harder.

“The guy I work next to is constantly talking about his home cinema and his collection of Star Wars action figures. Sometimes I just want to tell him to fuck off, but I know that I will probably lose my job if I do.

“So, instead of pissing in his desk drawer, I take a Nurofen Pain in the Arse every morning with my coffee. His bullshit washes over me like water off a horse’s back now.

“Now that this medication has been banned, I don’t trust myself. I feel like taking his Han Solo and shoving it up his arse. But that sort of behaviour is frowned upon at BT. I fear for my job, I really do.”

There are also unconfirmed reports that other Nurofen pain relief brands could be banned in the near future, including Nurofen ‘Stubbed Toe’, Nurofen ‘Ring Sting’ and Nurofen ‘Hot Piss’.