Controversial Report Suggests Jihadi John Was Actually a Little Shit at School

Brutal Jihadi John was always a horrible little turd

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Jihadi John

After a string of glowing references for the Islamic State murderer known as Jihadi John a former teacher has labelled him as a ‘little shit’.

Just when it seemed that the Kuwait-born killer was nothing but a hard-working, conscientious and virtuous young adult, a former teacher of Mohammed Emwazi’s has come forward to reveal his opinions. And they are very different to the succession of platitudes that have been hitting the press in recent days.

Francis Fraser was Emwazi’s high school English teacher, and he was less impressed with his celebrity student.

“Mohammed Emwazi was a daydreamer and a little shit of the highest order. He would consistently hand in shoddy homework without so much as a ‘sorry’.

“Of course, he was the life and soul of misbehaviour and tomfoolery. I only wish he put as much effort into his school work as he used to with his practical jokes.

“When I saw Mohammed boasting on Twitter about the heads he’s cut off, I just wasn’t surprised. He used to like flicking ears at school, and he once poked a fellow classmate up the bottom with a protractor. Not a nice individual at all.

“Mohammed also had a penchant for the theatrical. He was very good at drama, and once brought the house down as the lead in a school version of ‘Priscilla Queen of the Desert’. He loved to have the attention of an audience, which is probably one of the reasons why he’s turned to a career in televised mass murder ad torture.”

It has emerged that Jihadi John attended a London college that has been labelled as ‘a toxic environment for radical Islam’. However, a senior figure from within the University of Westminster insisted that morning prayers in lecture rooms, the segregation of female students, bomb-making classes and a trophy cabinet featuring the body parts of infidels from around the world were all part of an inclusive, multicultural education.