Dead Man Sentenced to Death for Not Voting in North Korean Elections

99.97% of living citizens in North Korea vote for the supreme leader.

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Kim Jong-Un waving to his adoring fans
Kim Jong-Un thanks his fans

As Kim Jong-Un hailed his party’s landslide election victory, it has emerged that an elderly man who died on the eve of the ballot has been sentenced to death for his failure to vote.

State media in North Korea have refused to reveal the name of the man, but it is thought that he was a 98-year-old farmer who had a long history of defying the regime in the highly secretive country.

An aide to the North Korean leader, who insisted on remaining anonymous, believes the decision to execute the dead man is the right one.

“This traitor has no place in a civilised society. Our supreme leader received the vote of every citizen in our great country, so death should be absolutely no excuse.

“Our supreme leader has shown his compassionate side by allowing this traitor’s family to watch the execution on TV, in the comfort of their luxurious tenement. This should send a message to the rats and rodents in Western governments that we are not the animals we are often portrayed as.

“This man displayed the utmost disrespect for our supreme leader by dying before he had cast his vote, and he must be punished accordingly. Long live our supreme leader, and may his greatness live forever in our hearts.”

Unconfirmed reports suggest that babies and the elderly were carried into mobile polling booths in order to cast their vote. Many eyewitness in the area spoke of voters clapping, dancing and singing as they voted, although many of the same voters were spotted crying at the same time.

State media heaped praise on Kim Jong-Un and the ruling Communist Party throughout the day. As the polls closed, a beaming newsreader revealed that 30.6 million North Koreans had voted for the the ‘revolutionary power of the supreme leader’. The fact that the country has a population of just 24.9 million people wasn’t mentioned.

A further 3,432 people will be executed in the coming days for choosing the wrong candidate on a ballot paper that contained just one name. The dead man sentenced to death will be hung until ‘absolutely, definitely and unequivocally’ dead in the early hours of tomorrow morning.