Freedom of Movement is Good Unless the Scrounging Bastards Come Here, Says Polish PM

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David Cameron with the Polish Prime Minister

Polish Prime Minister Beata Szydlo has denounced David Cameron’s plans to curb benefits for EU immigrants – claiming that the principle of free movement within Europe is ‘sacrosanct’.

But the bullish leader of Poland added that her views could change if ‘scrounging English bastards’ start flocking to Warsaw for work.

During a tense and rather terse press conference, David Cameron outlined his stance on curbs to immigration within the EU, and he confirmed that there were still considerable differences to overcome in the search for a consensus with Poland.

However, the Polish premier was in no mood for negotiation, claiming that David Cameron is a ‘posh tw*t who is fooling no one with his strategic comb-over hairstyle.

After the press conference, a Polish government aide – who wished to remain anonymous – clarified her country’s stance on Britain’s demands.

“Look, we like the current arrangement. We have no jobs and shit pay here in Poland. We have no money for public services, health and unemployment benefits. It suits us very much to have our citizens leave Poland for Britain.

“Our people leave and work hard in Britain. Many of our people receive high pay and benefit – a lot of which makes its way back to Poland. Our people receive free healthcare too, which takes pressure of our health service.

“Of course, our principles might change if the roles are reversed, and British people start flocking to Poland for better pay, free healthcare and state benefits. But until that day comes, we will stick by the fair and just principle of freedom of movement within the EU.”