Jeremy Corbyn Resigns Over the Corbyn Reshuffle

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A portrait of Jeremy Corbyn

Following a significant shadow cabinet reshuffle that led to at least three resignations with the Labour Party, Jeremy Corbyn has caused confusion and panic by resigning himself.

The controversy surrounding the reshuffle threatened to destabilise an already weakened party, but few political analysts could have predicted that Corbyn’s reshuffle would have had such a profound effect on the Labour leader.

Sources within the party are telling journalists that Corbyn made a petulant dash for the door after disagreeing with his own shadow cabinet appointments.

After around 30 tense minutes of negotiation, Corbyn was persuaded to return to the shadow cabinet meeting he himself had called. And several hours of renegotiation persuaded the leader to return to his post.

Corbyn later spoke to assembled journalists outside Labour Party HQ.

“Look, I wanted to make a stand and make people aware of my principles. Yes, I disagreed with many of my own appointments, and I thought the moral thing to do was to make a stand.

“I stormed out of the meeting, and then refused to come back until I’d changed my mind. After much soul searching and a bit of push and shove with several male members of the shadow cabinet, I agreed to return to the meeting.

“I will not accept myself making undemocratic decisions that have consequences for the entire party. I must be called into account when I fuck up. And on this occasion, the person who called me into account just happened to be me.”