Avoid Urine ‘Splashback’ By Pissing in Sinks, Say Scientists

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Men at a urinal

Scientists from the World Health Organisation have revealed that urinating directly into sinks is the best way to avoid the scourge of so-called ‘splash-back’.

A multi-million pound study into why men seem to urinate on their shoes and trousers at public urinals has concluded that men become pre-occupied with in-toilet advertisements, and by not staring at the penises of other urinal users.

Gerard Grainger of the World Health Organisation believes that this new advice could revolutionise the way men all over the world urinate.

“We noticed that, particularly at large sporting and music events, men were leaving public toilets with wet shoes and trousers. We call this phenomenon splash-back. We wanted to better understand the causes of splash-back, and our findings were quite astonishing.

“We found that a lack of due care an attention at urinals meant an average of 17 percent of urine came to rest outside the urinal bowl. Of that 17 percent, a huge 10 percent ended up on the urinator’s trousers. We made the word ‘urinator’ up just for this study.

“We then carried out a survey at a recent Iron Maiden concert, during which we asked people leaving a male toilet whether they had used a standard toilet bowl, a urinal or a sink for the passing of urine.

“While only 12 percent of respondents revealed that they had used a sink, 95 percent of those men had dry trousers and shoes. This provided us with incontrovertible evidence that pissing in sinks reduces splash-back by as much as 100 percent.

“Of course, we are not condoning urinating in any sink. While it is perfectly acceptable to urinate in sinks at football stadia, schools and motorway service stations, we implore the public not to do so in kitchen sinks. But if there is no other option available, we recommend removing any dishes first.”