Cocaine Contains High Levels of Refined Sugar, Warn Obesity Experts

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Lines of Cocaine

Several obesity experts have warned that cocaine manufacturers are adding ‘unhealthy’ amounts of sugar to their drugs in a bid to make them tastier.

The news is expected to cause shockwaves in London wine bars and Premier League dressing rooms, as cocaine has always been considered a low-calorie drug.

Geraldine Bartholomew is part of a study on the fattening nature of regular drug use, and she claims these new findings should be a wake-up call for fat users.

“We have discovered high levels of sugar in everyday cocaine. People deserve to know that their lines are packed with calories. So much sugar on a Saturday night is very bad for your health.

“Firstly, we urge manufacturers to either switch to sugar substitutes or refrain from sweetening their products altogether. Secondly, we recommend users switching to low-sugar alternatives, such as cannabis and heroin.”

Davey Batty from Huddersfield enjoys a gram every Friday night, but he’s not concerned about the findings.

“I work out and watch what I eat, so I don’t think the sugar in my cocaine is going to make me any fatter than I already am.

“I’m sick of so-called experts telling us not to eat this and not to eat that. This is a case of the nanny state controlling us. It comes to something when the hard-working man can’t enjoy a few lines without being body shamed by scientists.”