’50 Shades of John Terry’ to Be Released

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John Terry

Chelsea captain, John Terry, is to be the central character in E.L James’ fourth book in the ’50 Shades of Grey’ series.

The controversial England defender is thought to be delighted at the development, using it as a welcome distraction from his trial for allegedly racially abusing QPR’s Rio Ferdinand.

The book’s author had initially intended to stop at three instalments of the raunchy series, however Terry’s recent exploits, both on the pitch and in the bedroom, have resulted in one last foray for the book’s author.

A Chelsea club official who wished to remain anonymous explained how the idea came to fruition. “John is well known for enjoying the company of various women in his spare time. He is a lover, not a fighter – E.L. James saw this in him and realised Terry would add a new dimension to the story.

The Daily Tackle has obtained exclusive rights to print excerpts of the new book, due out next year. In the following scene, Terry has taken a young lady home after an evening in a famous London nightclub.

John caressed Misty Rae’s hair and looked longingly into her eyes. He simply couldn’t believe his luck. The most beautiful girl in Spearmint Rhino had chosen him.

She had captivated the attentions of every heterosexual man that evening; she exuded an almost hypnotic aura and John was now under her spell. Misty’s smooth, ebony skin glistened in the dimly lit hotel suite; her natural glow a primordial mating call to her prey. Her golden blonde hair cascaded over her shoulders and down her bare back as if tempting him with its virginal innocence.

Only two hours ago, Misty’s skimpy panties had been filled with five pound notes, now she was standing in his hotel room completely starkers and those same knickers were on his head – a trophy. Perhaps it had been John’s twenty pound note that had enticed this beautiful specimen standing before him? It didn’t matter, her knickers were off and it was party time. He trembled with sexual anticipation as she moved towards him and gently kissed his neck – he hadn’t experienced such intense desire and affection since Sunday’s ten girl ‘pick and mix’ in his London penthouse.

John wrapped his left arm around the Misty’s arched back and pulled her close. Her scent was intoxicating and only served to arouse his passions further. The exotic mix of tobacco, gin and an unidentified perfume was playing havoc with his sinuses, but he ploughed on regardless.

“Take me,” she whispered in his ear.

“Let me put my pint down first babe,” replied John.

“I want you inside me my love,” begged Misty.

“What, here?” he replied.

“Of course, where else my love?”

“OK, but let me put a rug down first, this carpet is new. It was imported from Africa or Asia, somewhere really hot and dusty.”

Misty wasn’t prepared to wait, her loins were on fire and she needed John’s gentle touch to ease them. She instinctively grabbed his hand and pressed it against her left breast. John could no longer hold back the tidal wave of suppressed sexual desire that had tormented his very being for the last twelve hours.

Without thought for his own safety or match fitness, he swept her upwards with one arm and brought her lips to his. They kissed for the first time, yet it felt like their souls had been intertwined since the dawn of humankind. John’s breathing became laboured under the powerful sexual avalanche that consumed his body. He nibbled eagerly at Misty’s ear, then managed to whisper: “I’ve never had a black lass before.”

50 Shades Of Terry is due for release in March 2013.

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