Aston Villa Takeover Off After Prospective Owner Watches Them On YouTube

92
0

Villa Park stadium shot

Randy Lerner’s sale of Aston Villa has fallen through after the Chinese billionaire buying it saw them play on Youtube.

Dr Tony Xia was looking for James Corden carpool videos on YouTube when he happened upon Aston Villa’s 4-0 home defeat to Chelsea in April. After lapsing in and out of consciousness for the first 20 minutes of the match, the Chinese entrepreneur called the Villa board to inform them that the purchase was off.

Villa Chairman Steve Hollis talked at length to Dr Xia in a bid to change his mind, but the Villa Park horror show had already done too much damage.

“Xia was yawning and shouting when he called me, which is something I’ve never heard,” said Hollis.

“He told me that he hadn’t been able to keep his eyes open during our defeat to Chelsea in April. He also informed us that his wife and thee of his children have developed chronic narcolepsy after being exposed to the Villa match in question for just three minutes.

“Obviously we’re very disappointed at this latest development. We’ve ensured that all Aston Villa matches from the last seven years have been permanently removed from the Internet.”

But it seems that the Villa board haven’t stopped there. Footage of Villa’s European Cup Final victory against Bayern Munich has been labelled with a 2016 date. And former Villa legend Peter Withe has been drafted in to demonstrate to potential buyers that Villa isn’t just a club of talentless wasters and third-rate players.