Hodgson Plans to Win Euro 2016 Without Winning a Game

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Roy Hodgson
Photo: David Rawcliffe/Propaganda

Amid widespread controversy surrounding negative tactics and low expectations, England manager, Roy Hodgson, is planning to win Euro2016 by not winning any matches.

The former West Brom and Liverpool coach’s remarkable strategy was leaked by a Football Association representative on the eve of the finals draw last week.

“We want to give ourselves the best chance possible to win the competition – we believe we can achieve this by trying not to win,” claimed David Henderson of the FA.

“The problem with winning is that you leave yourself open to attack.  If we play with absolutely no ambition, no intention to move forward and absolutely no attempts at goal, we could scrape through each game on penalties.  I think it’s a winning formula.

“We want to scrape through the group stage with three, hard-fought draws. We will then aim to bore our way through the groups stages through penalty shoot-outs. The lads have been practising pens for weeks now.

“Who says you have to win international tournaments by playing attractive football and winning games?”

The Daily Tackle understands that players are taking part in intense training sessions, covering pitch-long clearances, high tackles, playing the ball into touch and pass-backs to the keeper.