Lily Allen’s F**k You Announced as the New English National Anthem


England team singing the national anthem

Following calls from leading MPs for England to have its own national anthem for sporting occasions, Lily Allen’s F**k You has been chosen as the nation’s choice.

The winner was chosen by a poll of the country’s leading chavs, Sun readers and benefits claimants, and it will be sung before major sporting events from next year.

F**K You overcame some very tough competition along the way, however, as it was up against classics such as ‘Land of Hope and Glory’, ‘Jerusalem’, ‘There’ll Always Be an England’ and ‘Vindaloo’.

Shadow minister Toby Perkins introduced the Bill in the House of Commons that initially sparked the national debate, and he thinks the nation has chosen wisely.

“We wanted the English national anthem to represent our culture, values and national consciousness. What else defines our great nation than that timeless phrase ‘F**k You’?

“I just can’t wait to proudly sing our new national anthem with thousands of English fans at future World Cups – particularly those featuring Germany and Argentina.

“God Save the Queen has become a little dry, and it should be reserved for sporting occasions featuring a Great Britain team.

“I have it on good authority that the news hasn’t gone down too well at the Palace, although some mutual friends of Prince Harry say he can’t wait to sing it at Twickenham next year.”